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Online dating: 10 rules to help find the ideal partner | Life and style | The Guardian
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It's OK to use two or three sites at a time. Bear in mind that you'll want most of the features activated, and that some sites can be expensive. Go shopping For the most part, dating sites aren't doing anything particularly mysterious. Sites mostly create taxonomies and match users based on their answers. In some cases, sites look at the gap between users' answers and their behaviours. For example, you might say that you prefer a very tall man with dark hair who is religious, but mainly click on profiles for shorter atheists.
The algorithm in that case would try to match you according to your behaviour. But maybe you're clicking on all of the profiles, even those that don't match your preferences, or sitting next to your sister, and she's also looking for a boyfriend — one who's short and blond. In that case, the algorithm won't work either. It's best to treat dating sites as giant databases for you to explore. Keep your profile short Long profiles typically didn't fare well in my experiment.
I think that for thoughtful women, or women who are quite smart, there's a tendency to give more of a bio. Popular profiles were shorter and intriguing. Create a curiosity gap Ever wondered why Upworthy and Buzzfeed are so popular?
It's because they're masters of the "curiosity gap". They offer just enough information to pique interest, which is exactly what you'd do when meeting someone in person for the first time. Don't try to be funny Most people aren't funny — at all — in print.
What you say to your friends at the pub after a few pints may get a lot of laughs, but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll translate on a dating site. The same goes for sarcasm.
- Online dating: 10 rules to help find the ideal partner
Often, people who think they sound clever instead come off as angry or mean. Here's a good tip: Be selective It's good to give examples of your likes and dislikes, but bear in mind that you may inadvertently discourage someone by getting too specific about things that aren't ultimately that important. I love Curb Your Enthusiasm.
As it turns out, my husband particularly dislikes that show. If I'd have gone on and on about Larry David in my profile I wonder if he'd have responded.
Use optimistic language In my experiment, I found that certain words "fun", "happy" made profiles more popular. Talk about what excites you, or paint a picture of a really great day that you would want to be a part of.
Would you date you? Market yourself Don't just reuse old photos or copy your profile from dating site to dating site.