Dating Your Friend's Ex - AskMen
That is kind of my initial thought too, I totally get it. convicted sexual offender, no matter how benign or unjust their conviction may have actually been. devoted to his daughter, and he was one of the best friends I ever had. So, I've decided to share my own advice for how to transition from being just a friend to a girlfriend, or just a friend to a boyfriend. Read on and learn how to go. About 7 months ago, I broke up with the love of my life over some very strong I' ve recently met someone with whom I share most of my very important convictions. My biggest concern in regards to your situation is that your girlfriend is not making it perfectly clear to her male friends that she . He's Worried About Her Ex.
She and I clicked from the moment we met and have spent a lot of time together. She is very social and has many male friends, some of whom, she has admitted, have or have had some interest in dating her.
She has been very honest and open about her male friends and has been very good about including me in any plans that she makes with them.
However, I am very uncomfortable about this and feel threatened. I feel as though I may lose her to them. The other day we went out with a relatively new male friend of hers who, I believe, was making it very clear that he is interested in being more than friends.
When I asked her about this, she said that she had not noticed this, and that I should just trust her. He did not rape her. Alex was one of the kindest, most gentle souls I had ever met, and he was excited about this new lady. Alex was happy someone had come into his life to make him feel good about himself again. He was even tossing around the word girlfriend… But it was all a lie. Alex ended up being convicted of rape despite the fact that the sex had been consensual.
He had to register as a sex offender, and will continue to have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. He had to live in shitty motels because he was no longer allowed to live with his family, due to the fact that there were young children in the family home his daughter and his nieces.
He was not allowed to see his young daughter or his nieces for an entire year. I was not allowed to go visit Alex in the shitty motels because he was not allowed to be alone with a woman in his motel room. We eventually lost touch because it was just too hard for Alex to continue talking to me or to even text me without fear of violating some very strict probation rule.
I would ask you — is this fair? If you are a woman, would you consider dating Alex after you listened to his story and heard what actually happened to him?
But sometimes, the other side of the story does have some validation to it. I met Jacob online. We began messaging and realized that we kinda liked each other. Okay, kinda liked each other a lot! Our communications moved from messaging online to texting and then to talking on the phone.
What It Really Means if You Can Stay Friends with Your Ex
Everything was going great, and we had an amazing connection. Two weeks into getting to know each other, Jacob sent me an email one night. He texted me before I opened the email that he was terrified for me to read it. As a young and probably slightly dumb 21 year old, Jacob had gotten blackout drunk at a party and attempted to have sex with a woman who was also at the party.
But, Jacob tried to have sex with a woman who was not consenting to have sex.Can a Friend Date Your Ex?
Jacob went on in the email to describe that he woke up out of the blackout hours later because he was being beaten and kicked on the ground outside.
He had no memory of what had happened, and he had no memory of how he even got outside.
6 questions you should ask if you want date your ex's friend - HelloGiggles
All he knew at the time was that he had gotten extremely drunk and had done a very bad thing and that he was in some serious shit for what he did. Jacob ended up serving time in prison for the offense that he committed that night. He has been a registered sex offender for over twenty years now, and he will be for the rest of his life.
He thought I should know, and he found the courage to be very upfront with me very early on in our getting-to-know-each-other-phase about what he had done. He was extremely remorseful in the email for what had happened. He wished he could go back in time and change the events of that night, because that young woman did not deserve what he had done to her.
I actually cried when I read the email because of the pain I could feel in his words, the pain he still felt about hurting another person.
He told me that he is gentle and kind and a good person, and has never been in any other kind of trouble since. He also told me that every where he lives, and once a year, he still has to register as a sex offender, 23 years after this event happened.
He said if I chose to never contact him again, that he would respect that and leave me alone. I'm kind of obsessed. And I think she wants to take it to the next level, too. The problem is, my friend had a deep relationship with this girl, and I think he's still kind of in love with her.
So what do I do here? Can I get away with dating my friend's ex? Will he be able to handle this?
Which is that people never really get over significant romantic relationships. I don't mean that you can never be happy again after breaking up with someone. Of course you can. But it's largely a matter of compartmentalizing. You get a new and even prettier girlfriend, or hang out with your friends more, or get into jiu jitsu or knitting. You get a new life so you don't spend all your time sitting around and crying about your old one like the baby you are.
Would You Date a Registered Sex Offender?
Sure, people will talk about their old relationships and say that they're "over it" or that it "wasn't meant to be," or pepper you with other related nonsense phrases, but what they mean is they're not thinking about it right now.
All of those old wounds stick around, just waiting to be re-opened. You're always going to feel weird when you see your ex, at least a little bit. If you're still friends with your exit wasn't that serious, or it's still serious. And, if you date your friends' ex, you're telling your friend that your romantic feelings are more important than their happiness.
Because they're going to see you holding hands with their ex, and remember how nice that felt, and if you think they won't envision you having sex together, you're being naive. Of course, that's going to hurt. Inherently, it's a selfish thing. You're saying, "screw you and your silly emotions, I've got to get laid. Does this mean you should never, ever date a friend's ex?