10 Rules For Dating When You Want a Serious Relationship | HuffPost
Christmas is fast approaching and all I want to do is cozy up under a blanket with my dog and a family bar of chocolate. Still, in no time at all, it'll be New Year's. The dating world revolves around making the right proactive choices -- and this means that if you're ready for a monogamous relationship, you. Following dating rules help you set and maintain your own standards and . with your new love interest, but displaying too much eagerness can scare a guy off.
You don't want to end up with and STI or pregnant from a casual hookup. Sleep with someone whenever you feel comfortable. Via WeHeartIt If you want to hook up with someone on the first date, second date or 20th date it's totally up to you.
If you like them and feel comfortable sleeping with them on the first date, no one should judge you for that. But if you only feel comfortable after 5 dates that's okay too! Don't have high expectations. Via WeHeartIt If you're hooking up with someone for the first time, don't expect it to be mind-blowingly amazing. You don't know each others bodies at all, so it's going to be new and probably won't be as great as you thought it would be in your head.
If you continue to hook up with them though it can only get better from there.
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- 10 Rules For Dating When You Want a Serious Relationship
Via WeHeartIt I cannot stress this point enough! If you're only looking for a casual hookup or friends with benefits you've got to be honest about it. If she asks you what you want from her, tell her. Don't lie just to get her into bed because that's only going to end with someone getting hurt and that's not fun at all.
By now, we all know better than that. Don't rush her out of your place afterwards.
Via WeHeartIt Okay, so you hooked up and you don't want her to stay over for a night of cuddling and breakfast in the morning. That's okay if it's just casual but don't rush her out of your apartment by calling her a cab while she's in the washroom. Always bring the protection that you can control yourself. Via WeHeartIt Women can control the pregnancy side of hooking up if they're on some form of birth control, so you should take control of the part that you can help with.
By that I mean always provide the condom to protect against STIs. It's the least you can do. Make sure you're communicating even if it's just casual. Via WeHeartIt If you've agreed ahead of time that you're not looking for someone serious and it's just a casual thing, make sure you're continuing to communicate after that. If you start having feelings talk to them about it and they can feel comfortable doing the same to you.
Also remember you're friends as well so get to know them and enjoy spending time with them. Via WeHeartIt If you've been hooking up and hanging out for 3 months now and you're having a really good time you don't automatically have to talk about where the relationship is going. Being happy where you are with that person is totally find and there's no reason to rush into something if you're already content. All of these rules can be used by guys as well if the roles are reversed.
It doesn't have to be the girl asking for more from a relationship! Talk about what's been happening before talking about the future. Via WeHeartIt Instead of jumping right into what you want from the person in the future, talk about how you've been feeling in the last few weeks.
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Tell them you feel like you two have been getting closer and ask if they feel the same way. Or tell them you've been feeling like your relationship has been more than just hooking up lately. Then you can talk about what you want from them going forward. Don't start the conversation off with a 'we need to talk' text.
Via WeHeartIt Nobody likes the phrase 'we need to talk'. It sends panic through our bones, literally. Even if you don't mean it as a serious thing, it still makes people automatically panic so try to avoid that phrase like the plague. Just ask him to hang out later that day or to hang out in a quiet place where you feel comfortable having a serious conversation. Try and have this kind of conversation in person.
Via WeHeartIt These kinds of conversations are never good over the phone, or over text. I know that it seems easier to have difficult over the phone because you're nervous but it won't go as well for either of you if you do it this way.
Having "The Talk" Rules For Guys Feel free to joke around during the conversation, it doesn't have to be serious the whole time. Via WeHeartIt Even though the subject of the conversation can be serious, there's no reason the entire conversation has to be.
Joke about how you've taken your online dating profile down. This can be a light way to broach the subject and see if they're on the same page as you are. This conversation shouldn't be about your future, it should be about the present. Via WeHeartIt There's no reason to talk about your future, moving in together and marriage, that's moving way to fast. All you need to discuss right now is whether you both want to commit to only seeing each other and whether you're both ready for a real relationship.
Leave the talk about your kids names for another time. Allow both sides to be heard and discussed. Via WeHeartIt It's called "The Talk" for a reason, both sides have to be heard and the points each bring up discussed. If she starts the talk, she wants to hear your opinion and thoughts, so don't be afraid to tell her, even if you don't think it's what she wants to hear.
Same goes for her, let her respond to your opinions and really talk it out. It's okay if you need time to think and process before giving her a solid answer. Via WeHeartIt If she tells you she wants more and you're not sure whether you want the same thing it's okay to tell her you need time to think about it.
Sure, it will give her some anxiety to wait to hear your response, but it's better that you take your time and think it over than if you hastily respond before you're sure. Via WeHeartIt There's nothing worse than being in public and sitting next to a couple on the subway that's literally going at it.
We get it you love each other but that's not something most people want to see on their commute home. Keep it to holding hands, hugging and light kissing. The rest you can do in the privacy of your own home. Don't cut your friends off just because you have a new, exciting relationship. Via WeHeartIt Girls tend to do this a lot when they find themselves in a new romantic relationship. This is okay a couple times, but after a while your friends won't want to put up with being pushed to the side and they'll leave.
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But if your relationship goes south, and I'm not saying it will, but if it does you're going to need your friends to help pick up the pieces.
And you'll eventually realize you need more in your life than just your relationship to make you happy. Don't suffocate each other, spending time apart is really important as well. Via WeHeartIt Since the relationship is so new, your first instinct will to be spending all your time together. That's natural, but it's also good to resist this. You don't want to suffocate your partner by spending every single day at their place like you moved in.
Do your own thing and have them miss you a little bit. Via WeHeartIt Now that you're official you're going to be invited to hang out with your guy's friend group. This doesn't mean you have to become best friends with them overnight, but make an effort to get to know them better when you can.
That way he won't feel like he has to choose you or them all the time, you can all hang out together! Via WeHeartIt If you always played hockey on Friday nights, don't give that up because she likes to party every Friday and wants you to come.
It's good that you keep up with your hobbies that you had before the relationship. If you give them up you could end up resenting the person or unhappy in general. Listen to their problems, but don't offer your opinions on how to solve them. Via WeHeartIt Sometimes your partner just needs to vent about their rough day and all they really need from you is to be there to listen to them.
They don't need you to tell them how to fix their own problems, they know what they need to do. But if they don't they'll specifically ask you. And this comes down to miscommunication and misunderstandings about communication. There are many choices available to you as far as communication. Texting, instant messaging, FaceTime, using social media, email, direct messaging and the list goes on and on.
If you are dating someone, let them know what your preference is for communication. Also, find out theirs. Then you can determine the happy medium that works for both of you. Make sure you include face-to-face or over the phone communication, it puts things communicated to one another in a better context.
Ethnic barriers matter less. Ethnicity in dating partners has become less important than personal preference. This means you can pay attention to compatibility, which is what really matters. Opposites attract, but like-minded individuals last longer together. Now that people all over the globe interact with one another more, we are learning how much we all have in common which can supersede our differences.
In selecting a mate, you need not be hampered by the old rules like dating someone of the same culture, religion, or race. This expands your dating pool and allows you to focus on compatibility. And especially for women in cultures where you feel like your choices may be limited, this opens up your dating options to give you a better range of choices. If you want to play hard to get, do so at your own risk.
Because of online dating sites, matchmakers, and single mixers, there are a multitude of opportunities to meet and mingle with other singles. Playing the waiting game could cause you to miss your chance with someone compatible.
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Do not assume you are in an exclusive relationship. Yes, that not is in italicized for a reason. This is not a new concept, but it is worth reiterating. The person you are dating may have a significant other. Or they could have more than one person they are juggling in their dating pool.
Polyamorous relationships are becoming increasingly common. In a society use to instant gratification, and where you can swipe for a better option, people can have difficulty settling down with one mate. If you have been dating someone for several months or more and are intimate with them, check in and ask about their attitude toward monogamy.
Set expectations and tell them what you are looking for to ensure you are on the same page about your relationship and sexual partners. Sometimes you want to share a picture or two or three to keep things fresh in your relationship.
Make sure you are sexting with someone who respects you enough not to share your pictures with their friends or on social media. Some advice for men: Yes, we get it. Let your woman take the lead to see where she is willing to go. You may turn her off. Little things make a huge difference in a relationship.
Never underestimate the power of a thank you card, a phone call when someone is having a tough day, a surprise gift, a spontaneous date, the offer of cooking dinner or dinner out. Small gestures of caring and affection build a bond and create an extra layer of intimacy.