Are you suffering from "online dating addiction"? Here is how you can regain your freedom.
"Years ago, I was an intern for J-Date, and [online dating] was very Our generation isn't going on those sites — they're going on [apps like]. "Dating apps are basically slot machines—there's the promise that you're going relationship even said they met their significant other online—so there's hope yet. And if your dating app addiction rivals your enslavement to. One in five new relationships starts online, according to research by The biggest difference between men and women on dating sites.
Such dating apps as Clover, Pure, or HowAboutWe minimize the time spent on virtual chit-chat and help people find themselves on a date shortly after exchanging several messages or right after agreeing to meet in a particular place at a particular time. Psychology of Internet dating site addiction Endless resources infer endless searches. This is how the dating industry can be characterized in a nutshell.
And this is what facilitates an Internet dating site addiction. The compulsive use of dating services changes your attitude to relationships.
You stop perceiving each of your partners as unique. In 10 minutes, you can not only see hundreds of girls from different cities and countries but also scan their profiles. In real life, it would take you a year.
I’m addicted to dating apps – but I don’t want a date
The desire to woo and win a girl disappears — you know there are other single women out there. The abundance of choice leads to emotional burnout. According to psychologists and anthropologists, people are able to maintain a close emotional connection with not more than people. Today, thanks to the Internet, you can communicate with a lot more people.
Why do people get addicted to online dating and the process of meeting new people? The answer is simple: Online dating is replete with illusions.
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At the stage of online communication, people tend to mentally adjust their online dates to their ideals. In other words, they picture them they way they want them to be. When a relationship progresses, people learn the ugly truth about their partners and this is when a real relationship starts — when partners begin to accept the real personalities of their partners. Women and men addicted to online dating want to prolong the thrill of sweet illusion, so they prefer to stay on this level of the game, simply changing the players.
What makes you happy is not the quality of your online affairs but rather the quantity. You are focused on the number of people you contact rather than the depth of communication with them.
The Treatment for Online Dating Addiction
Your ultimate goal is not to secure a date with someone and meet in real life but to chat with potential dates. The moment you realize you know your online interlocutor quite well, you get bored and start looking for alternatives, that is, new potential dates. You can hardly picture yourself in an exclusive relationship with someone, because for you, the safest stage is the stage of online dating or just hook-ups.
Whenever you have a free minute, you reach for your phone or computer to check out your dating profile. Instead of reading a book or meeting with your friend, you prefer to play a swiping game, check out new users, or send a compliment to that lovely match. You can do it from your sofa with no makeup, wearing your pyjamas, with no effort, and no cost to anyone. Most people are on at least two dating apps, and flicking through them has become a quick, easy mood-booster for when people are feeling low and unattractive.
Back in when it launched, I was newly single. I would message matches, making date plans within a day and meeting up the same week.
At one point I was a five-dates-in-five-days type of gal. It was madly fun — but exhausting. I had a few six-month-long relationships in that time, but dating culture began shifting around me. It all got to be too depressing. Potential dates either asked for a tit-shot within a few messages, or would disappear just when I thought things were going really well.
As everyone got used to treating each other as disposable, I did too. And buy books, newspapers, magazines, listen to the radio or rent movies to occupy your time at home. Take things one day at a time.
Take the time to reflect on what you really want out of life, work, relationships. Think of this period as a gift to yourself: Try to get a better understanding of the way you function. That, in turn, will help you have a better control over your actions. Change your search method. If, and only if, you have decided that what you really want is to find someone to share your life with, consider changing the way you have been conducting your search.
A person, not a computer. Someone who will introduce you to people who — like you — are serious about finding their mate. Ironically, you probably will have to turn on your computer to find your matchmaker -this is, after all, the 21st century.