Man Lab: The Complete Bro Code | The Lowdown
It was retrieved from Barney's Blog at the CBS website Here. This entry is in response to the episode The Goat. The Bro Code (4/28/08). A set of rules meant to be a guideline to live by between Bro's. Dating back to the American Revolution, the BRO CODE has never been published before. Since we're fans of Neil Patrick Harris and HIMYM here are The Lowdown you the Bro Code so you have a handy reference of all the rules guys should live by. 4) A bro never divulges the existence of the Bro Code to a woman. . 51) A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a.
Second, I urge you to look at this document for what it is a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. Clearly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within.
Corollary to this states, if a bro gets naked in the locker room, all other bros shall pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening while at the same time immediately averting their eyes. When in doubt, remember the old adage. If your towel drops to the ground, so should your eyes. There are no sentiments between two bros that cannot be articulated through the convenience and emotional distance of electronic mail. Quitting your job like that really took a lot of ball!!
The Bro Code: Article
For some reason he is worried she will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. This is when a bro most needs his bro to remind him that there are plenty of chick in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time-consuming.
But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way.
Better to have women think that all men are stupid than to tell the truth. Super bowl, World series and Play Mate of the year.
America was built on the backs of men and women who were yelled at to work harder and the tradition has been screamed to generation from generation. You can only scream beneath you. Corollary, it is probably better for everyone if bros just hide pictures of their sisters when other bros are coming over. When in doubt refer to the check list for bro-proofing your home.
Women make excellent bros because they can translate and navigate the confusing and contradictory whims that comprise the chick code Chick do have the chick code!! All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped. The average relationship between a man and a woman lasts 83 days. The relationship between man and his skin lasts a life time and must be nurtured because the skin is the largest and second most important organ a man has.
Corollary, a bro with a coat of fur on his back, keeps that thing covered at all times even at resort, pool or beach. Also despite the cost savings, they shall not split a tub of popcorn, choosing instead to procure individual bags.
When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts. If women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. The reason is Bro-flation. An unreasonable increase in female expectations about how bros should act. You call a woman the next day, she tells her friends that you called the next day, and soon enough, women everywhere will expect guys to call them the next day.
Exceptions — If the Bros are within 7 degrees latitude of the equator. Reasons — a Cloth pockets are roomier and elastic allowing for a thicker wad of cash.
The Universal Bro Code: The Bro Code Rules
Not even in Europe. Corollary — A bro also never reveals how many chicks another Bro has banged. Exceptions — Carrying an expensive TV, parallel parking an expensive car and loading an expensive TV on to an expensive car.
However, to avoid Bro-flation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. Bro-tection forms a central pillar or, more accurately, a plastic coating for the central pillar of the Bro way of life. Some of which, such as children, can last an entire lifetime.
Exception — A Bro is off the hook if a Bro orders a drink with an umbrella in it. Even if she was truly nasty, a bro will make excuses for his bro. The wingman should swiftly punish any such attempts. Afterwards the bro who infringed upon this rule may be confronted by the whole circle of bros. If a bro should ask you if its alright, unless the need is great or direct ownership is applied, you will let him have it. Common courtesy and the bro code go hand in hand. A chick may be treated as a bro but never told of the rules.
Space must always be found or made for a drunk bro who needs to leave. If necessary, the theft of phone and keys shall be done for his own good. No exceptions to this rule. When a bro is truly smashed and his girl calls, the phone will be confiscated until a sober state of mind is achieved. Studies show that 8 out of 10 bros will do this without thinking. The other 2 bros claimed he was still with them but unavailable to talk.
All things done by a drunk bro must be forgiven. Doing so will force your bro to imagine you naked and this is unforgivable. The Alpha-Bro should always be handing out the wisdom and power of his skill. A bro will always recognize the master seducer of the group. If the bro declines your invitation to bust some moves, you must adhere to his wishes and find a new target.
If a bro proceeds to become butt-hurt about your success where he failed, you are under no obligations to make him feel better or apologize for your success. No matter how bad. Especially if the tattoo is of a girl. Chicks will dump you and play with your heart, but a bro will protect you like his own private parts. And under no circumstances shall it be broken. The bro life is like being in Jedi training camp.
You must always show your bro love and be joyous when bro love is shown to you. Never take your bro-mance too far. And if anyone should remark negatively upon your bro-mance.