Dating in the Internet World with Mental Illness | Mental Health America
Eleanor Segall reveals what it's really like battling a mental illness like bipolar disorder whilst trying to navigate the world of dating. It can be challenging when you're with someone who's struggling with mental illnesses like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or any other. Researchers interviewed a range of people with mental illnesses to learn more about their dating and romantic experience. Findings were.
Society puts a ridiculous amount of pressure on women to be flawless in every area, including our mind. She is a person, not a mental illness. Mental Illness is part of her, but it does not define her, and if her condition prevents you from seeing her as an individual first, then it is best to leave her be.
People with mental illness are professionals, educated, well traveled, creative, artists and individuals. Listen to her, do not try to fix her.
Mental illness cannot be fixed. It is not a flat tire. She does not, or should not expect you to know how to fix her problem. In my experience, when a guy feels like they cannot come up with a logical solution, they become frustrated.
When it comes to my mental health, the only people that can help solve my problem are me and my psychiatrist. So just listen to her, or give her genuine advice of ways to help her handle the problem at hand. She wants to feel empowered. Empowering her as someone living with a mental illness is the greatest gift you could give her.
She has so much to offer the world, and you may be the first person that comes into her life and relays this message to her.
She is different from other girls you have dated. She is probably different than other girls you have dated. You are here for a reason, and a lot has to with the fact that you are bored with women who act, dress, and think the same. Do not reject her because you are intimidated by the unknown. You are different from her, and she is different from you.
She is taking just as much of a risk as you are. Do not make her feel as though you are doing her a favor by dating her. Appreciate what makes her different, and roll with it.
Do not blame all your relationship problems on her mental illness. This is a biggie! Not every argument should be blamed on the fact that she has a mental illness.
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She is not a scapegoat, and this is a problem that happens too often in relationships. I accused my ex-boyfriend of cheating on me. It turned out he was cheating on me, and every single suspicion I had was justified. She is extremely empathetic. Women with a mental illness communicate in a language that is more emotional and beyond the surface.
No, this does not mean are required to cry or read poems out loud to her. Emotional and sensitive are two different things. It means do not be afraid to communicate with her on a more honest and deeper level. We are empathetic, and this type of communication builds trust. Mental illness is a mystery, and those of us who live with it are the only ones who can truly understand the world that exists within us.
It is not expected of you to completely understand, however, it is expected that you support us on our journey. I mean that is a rule in every relationship, right?
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There are parts of me that will always remain untamable, messy, and reckless; but I refuse to apologize for it anymore. She is not pushing you away on purpose. I am a pusher! You have to understand that we live in a world that tells us we are unlovable which establishes a high wall up between you and her.
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However, it is a defense mechanism that signals the beginning of the end. If you are really into her, be patient, gain her trust without forcing it and when she pushes do not react. Personally, my way of knowing when to tell someone my diagnosis is when I begin to trust them — not entirely, but enough to tell them this detail of my life.
I have also found it helpful to ask myself: Do I feel like it will get even healthier, or not? Do I feel safe with this person? The best advice I can give is to listen to yourself and your feelings. Although these may be affected by your mental illness, your feelings and experiences still matter. In doing this, you are directly investing in not only your future relationship, but your own well-being. Hard moments will come, but you can prepare yourself. And so can the people you love. Whether you are seeing people or are partnered, it is entirely possible to be happy while dating with a mental illness, and to enjoy it while things are good.
However, it is also important to account for what may happen, and how you want to go about those moments with the people you care for. Fan lives with dysthymia and anxiety.
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Recognize your own problematic coping mechanisms and toxic behaviors and work on them. We all go through them. There is no fail-proof, universal way to handle hard moments, but you can prepare yourself by realistically thinking about what you, and whoever you are interested in, can do to prepare and face them together. Questions to ask yourselves include: Are we able to communicate about our mental health and needs in a healthy way? How much am I asking of my partner?
How much is my partner asking of me? Give what you can, when you can. While we strive to give what we can to the relationship, it is not always going to be perfectly balanced, and that is okay — as long as we are aware of it and address it with responsibility and love to our partners. Gutierrez lives with generalized anxiety disorder and depression. If you are unaffected by mental illness and dating someone who is, it is your responsibility to educate yourself, and care for them as your partner.
But it is not your responsibility to save them. If you go ahead and try to do something for someone without asking, your attempt to help could actually be harmful.